If I Knew

i don't want 
to die
but
for the life of me
i can't
make sense
of how
to live

if i only
knew now
what tomorrow's
regrets
will be
i'd have some idea
of how 
to live

if i knew
what tomorrow's regrets
will be
i'd know
what 
to live 
for
today

if i knew
who and what
is right
i'd know
how to live

there's only
one shot
at getting
most of it
right
too bad
it feels
like so much
is wrong

what i need
is a new teacher
of right and wrong
one
i can respect
and trust

what i need
is a messiah
since the messiah
of self
isn't
any better
than any
of the rest

if i knew
what was best
for my mind
and soul
i'd at least 
know
where
to try 
putting them

if i knew
how to live
i'd know better
who
and how
to love

if i knew
how to live
i'd know
the difference
between 
cheap thrills
and 
real challenges

if i knew
how to live
it might be
more clear
the difference
between living
and 
survival

if
i was living
is it something
i'd understand
feel
or both?

3 thoughts on “If I Knew

    1. thanks for continuing to take an interest in my stuff. truly appreciated. yeah, there’s a dormant youtube channel. to have described it as “crazy, anarchistic” might be a stretch. “absurd” might be generous. “stupid” might be more real. anyway, here’s a link to my magnum opus Jordan Peterson video, sprinkled with footage of lobotomies & shock therapy, the ramones, naked lena dunham and rat/mouse extermination. probably helps to have an understanding of where peterson fits in the cultural/intellectual landscape. anyway, let me know if you can see it. it’s been restricted some places for my unauthorized use of footage. thanks again for keeping up with my stuff. the jordan peterson/mechanical chicken plucking vid is a nice one too, if i do say so myself. it’s a nice one for falling asleep to.

      p.s. if i ever consider branching out into a different medium, what do you think of the idea of someone with very poor/limited english skills reciting my poetry?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oooh, thanks! i love the serial killer vibe. I’m getting the feeling that you’re more of a “modern/avant-garde artist” and love the idea, even better would be an adult with limited mental capacity! I had a friend once pay a homeless person to sit in a large box and yell at people as they entered his art show. You seem like the kind of person that could appreciate that.

        Like

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