Suicide 7-4-37

he killed himself
not because 
he hated 
life
but
to prove
to himself
he wasn't afraid
of death

he wanted
to prove
that this precious
thing
of life
wasn't
that precious
to him
and nobody
and nothing
not god
nor fear of death
was going to force 
him
to cherish it
or
live in fear
of losing
it

he killed himself
without animosity
toward 
himself
anyone
anything
other than death
that sought 
to give life
some value
and meaning
that he knew
wasn't 
real

he killed himself
to spite 
death
that controlled him
persuaded
and manipulated
his 
decisions
priorities
his
free will
to make him believe
that life
was all
there 
was

so one afternoon
in july
without ceremony
in a pair of socks
with holes
he pulled the trigger
to show death
who the real 
boss 
was