Closing Credits

Closing Credits

i listened 
to what some smart guy
had to say
about
what kierkegaard
and nietzsche
had to say 
about anxiety
and how 
what they had to say
then
applies to our
modern dilemma
of frustration and anxiety
now

this smart guy
pointed out
how a supreme source
of anxiety
according to kierkegaard and nietzsche
is us
always
looking ahead
living in and for the future
hence
never being satisfied
in the moment

as an example
he pointed out
the closing credits
to films
and how we can't wait
to get the hell out
of the theater
or flip the channel
once the movie ends
so we can hurry up
and get on 
with the next thing

this sorta made sense
so i figured
most movies
last around
an hour and a half
so instead of a movie
i sat at home
and watched nothing
but slow scrolling
movie credits
for 90 minutes

then i went for a walk
and found myself
feeling only dumber
but no less anxious
than before

and even
the next day 
at work
i didn't feel
any different
than before

so i decided
to get some beer
and watch 4 straight hours
of slow scrolling 
closing credits
imagining that 
somehow
maybe
an hour and a half
wasn't enough
and maybe some intoxication
would be the catalyst
for the whole experiment
to fall
into place

well
it didn't work
i just got tired
after 2 hours
and 4 beers
and fell asleep
to the names
of grips and key grips
hairdressers
flame artists
and
"lazy man"
scrolling
slowly 
by

but maybe i'll try again tomorrow
with 6 beers
and shoot for 4 hours
of slow scrolling
closing credits
again
but this time
with film credits
from 5 star movies
like 
Citizen Kane
and Godfather 2
instead of
Switchblade Sisters
and 
Blastfighter
cause i get
what that smart guy 
and kierkegaard and nietzsche
were all saying
about all this
anxiety
and 
frustration