Dream of White Underwear

Dream of White Underwear

in the dream
my mother gifted me
a pack
of extra large
underwear

it was nice
i was grateful
since
i've put on weight
during this pandemic
and am needing
new underwear
as nothing
is more nagging
than socks
that are too loose
or drawers
that are too tight

without my begging
she surprised me
with the new pack
in the appropriate
size and brand
even the longer
sporty type
that i've come to like

but
they were white
inconvenient
for the occasional
dribbles of pee
and streaks of poop
that
no matter how careful
are persistently
mischievous
unpleasant
small fry

what might freud say
about this dream?

that her gift
of white underwear
like her
like anyone else
are a necessary
mix
of the good
and the bad?

that my mother
after all these years
had finally acknowledged
and gifted
however imperfectly
the fulfillment
of a need?

is the lesson
that her
like anyone else
like anything 
gifted or not
is a necessary mix
of what's been needed
and
what hasn't?

is the underwear
what is needed
yet their white
and the evidence
it exposes
the one thing
that's forever
kept us
apart?

or maybe
it's this perverse penchant
for the critical analysis
of dreams
of white underwear
gifted from mothers
that's been
the far greater
problem