Big Mistake

Big Mistake

the big mistake
is thinking
the mauling
and abuse
you deliver
to yourself
is better 
at least more controlled
than the other beatings
you're bound to receive

the big mistake
is thinking
the blows and burns
you deliver 
upon yourself
are a penance
deserving mercy
when they're not

we must all
take the blows
and the beatings
from outside

you can spend
your time
beating yourself
in hope
of a salvation
the rest
have not received

you can spend
your time
beating yourself
or
trying to figure out
like training
for a championship
fight
how to dodge
as many
of the kicks and blows
from the outside
as you can

but the problem is
anybody else
with the experience
is too busy
bullshitting themselves
and dealing
with their own turmoil
to have the time
or the courage
to admit to themselves
let alone 
you
that their own
methods 
of dodging the truth
are playtime