
Porta Kleen
it was hot and i needed to take a shit real bad so i scampered up the path to the public toilet i found the plastic public shitter a grey polyethylene monolith broiling in the summer sun with a sticker on the box that said Porta Kleen in a lovely font of red white and blue even stripes that intentionally obviously obnoxiously reminded me of Old Glory swelled with patriot pride just like my swollen tensed bowels i stepped inside to the horror of all the shit and piss down in the hole and when i smelled it and almost puked i put my hand to my heart i pledged allegiance to Porta Kleen and our star spangled banner which gave my soul strength when i sat to take my shit sweating in the plastic hotbox of other people's waste and cursing the biological necessity to inhale when i finally dropped my load and it splashed back up it seemed sorta gross until i thought again of the red, white and blue and the stripes of the Porta Kleen logo with my pants at my ankles i felt nauseous for a moment but instead of puking i chanted "USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!" which instead of sick made me proud of all the shit and the piss that had splashed up and all over my dripping disgusting ass
