Full Calendar

Full Calendar

my calendar
used to be full
of all the things
i needed to do
50 hours
a week 
for my job
oil changes
and haircuts
filling out our taxes
and taking the kids
to birthday parties
movies
softball games
and piano lessons
and my wife
out
occasionally
for doctor visits
or date night

now
with the kids grown
and my wife passed
the calendar
like myself
is mostly empty

in a way
choosing a family
was a choice
but not too much
it was something
i simply accepted
cause it seemed
like the simplest 
easiest choice
to make
and the most normal
way of living

i didn't think
too much
about starting the family
that kept my calendar full
i just accepted it
as the thing
most people do

so now
when i look at the calendar
all empty
year after year
i can't help but wonder
when the next thing
like the old one
i never really chose
is finally
gonna come along
to fill it up
again