instinct might be the most important thing
you can be taught
the techniques
and technicalities
of how to paint
or write
how to bat or steal a base
you can watch the films and study the playbook
but when the line opens up
or the play falls apart
a lot of times
it comes down to instinct
it comes down to how much instinct
you've got
the instinct that leads you
to what you should write or paint
and how it needs to be done
with a commitment to finding the way
for yourself
not through schools of art
schools of thought
or houses of the holy
mostly a bunch
of the same old
bullshit
something that instinct
and its tagalong reason
allow you to both feel
and know
so avoid the textbooks
and the mass opinions
of how you should paint or write
or play
keeping in mind
of course
there's rules
for grammar
spelling
and punctuation
and some rules
for composition
and
how water's for acrylic
and solvent's for oil
but the rest's up to you
that's the real burden
the real cross to bear
and if there's nothing inside
that needs to be painted
or written
or sung
then there's always technique
and sentiment
their precious techniques and sentiments
when there is no instinct inside of you
and where there is no instinct
no instinctive pursuit of something
something you're anxiously unsure of
yet
instinctively certain
whatever it is
it seems meaningful
for
without instinct
in both
glorious
and
inglorious pursuit
of something
without pursuit
is there any passion
for you?
for me?
instinct
in art
in sport
in life
the instinct in knowing
who to fuck and how
and who not to fuck
of what to pursue
when you feel the soul slipping
having the instinct to withdraw
and pursue something else
something better
instinctively
having the instinct to withdraw
from the temptations
of bad ideas and dumb ways of living
ways that seem decent and wholesome
common sense ways
that instinctively
not analytically
feel wrong
that instinct
a guilty conscience
nagging you
tormenting your sleep
its way of letting you know
common sense ways
aren't your way
of being authentic
instinct haunting you
in the car
waiting for a plane
waiting on a meal
waiting on the dentist
nagging you with all the things
you know you don't yet understand
but should
nagging you
about your laziness
in not caring
not doing a better job
of trying to understand
somehow
while
possessing intelligence
and logic
and reason
that present to you
all the common sense ways of living
because you are reasonable
you know those ways are reasonable
and you wish to be reasonable
instead of the fool
but instinct tells you no
without reason
that many of the ways of common sense
are not your ways
some get by okay on instinct
though it's not obvious to most
that they're okay
or even
how they do it
i think about Buk
and his instincts
in writing
and in life
and at the track?
a mix of analytics and instinct
the daily test
turned weekly
monthly
yearly
a test
whether or not
in the end
the instinct prevails
measured not by jackpots
but tiny gains
over time
the slow accumulation of the wealth
of tiny gains
slow
an unreasonable commitment
to the inglorious compounding interest
of minor gains
gains and wealth mostly of......freedom?
freedom from nitwits
and their ties to their common sense
and freedom from the schools
of how you should think and create
freedom from the need for their approval
tiny gains
requiring discipline
and patience
commitment and will
to give yourself time
to get to the truth
of whether your instinct's shit
nothing better than theirs
or slightly better
at least
for yourself
the better instinct for knowing
what's important
and what needs to be done
for yourself
and maybe
with luck
or a blessing or two
to discover
you're not the only one
exploring the same territory
but
beware the false explorers
be grateful for the instinct
to sniff them out
and send them packing
while accepting some of the worst of yourself
shamefully disappointing and mistreating others
sometimes
cause it's the only way
of staying on the path
that your instinct lays out
this thing called instinct
like the one to survive
this one
sometimes termed the muse
a blessing that helps get you outta bed
but also keeps you from sleeping so well sometimes
cause you can't keep straight
if there's reasons why common sense ways are the way they are
that maybe you're just the family fool
the town square idiot
the lazy underachiever of your team
with too much ego for your own good
too much pride
to accept the common sense ways for what they are
or
is a cunt hair's more instinct than the average really
what you've got?
and
if so
an instinct for just yourself?
for maybe more?
or
is it all just ego tickling the taint?
there are no easy answers
unless you go to the schools
otherwise
you're stuck with yourself
and your ego
and instinct
and your blind
and idiotic
commitment
to whatever cause this is
mrobins71 