COVID-19 FREEDOM Manifesto

COVID-19 FREEDOM Manifesto

I don’t believe in vaccines unless it’s the vaccine of FREEDOM.

We’re stuck in a pandemic. Least that’s what the government and mainstream media tells us. We’re stuck mostly indoors per “stay at home” orders from state authorities throughout the country.

But a hero stands heads and shoulders above the cucked. She is Governor Kristi Noem of South Dakota who’s had the balls to rebuke any “stay at home” order for her state.

“The people are responsible for their own safety,” she’s said. And pointed out as well how our constitutions “prevent us from taking draconian measures much like the Chinese government has done.”

Ah, those dirty Chinese fascists. That oppressive, draconian Chink government curtailing their people from spreading the disease. It’s so nice, even necessary, to have an enemy as a reverse reflection of our glorious heroism in a time of crisis.

I couldn’t agree more with the good governor of the Coyote State. Could’t agree more about FREEDOM and personal responsibility being the laxative to the bowel obstruction of this “pandemic.” Couldn’t agree more about the implied quality of our common sense. The same common sense that tells me all vaccines but the vaccine of FREEDOM are a bunch of bunk.

These nitwit politicians talk about social distancing and the miracle of some magic vaccine when the real vaccine’s been around us the entire time – the vaccine of FREEDOM. The vaccine of God, the flag and the good, ole U.S.A. I’m talking about tangible freedoms. But I’m also talking about the concept of FREEDOM, the most important of the two in our time of crisis.

FREEDOM and patriotism, combating this plague with flags waving in the breeze. I’m talking about inoculation with hymens of national pride. Fuck precautionary measures. Fuck distancing. Fuck vaccines. Fuck hand washing and masks. Fuck hospitals and nurses and doctors and respirators. What we need is Lee Greenwood and bald eagles. We need images of howling wolves with mountainsides and Old Glory as the backdrop. We need fireworks and confetti and slogans and decals. Slogans and decals, not encouraging our healthcare heroes, but slogans and decals about FREEDOM. We need the FREEDOM to do what we want, like driving around without seat belts and/or infecting as many of our neighbors as we want. You may decry the needless infection of others as selfish, but do not fear, for FREEDOM will prevail. FREEDOM will make it all okay in the end.

Times of crisis call for desperate measures. Desperate FREEDOMS. What we need is an onslaught of FREEDOM to combat this menace. In our time of crisis we need the FREEDOM of fully automatic AR’s and AK’s with clips as long and loaded as John Holmes’ dong. You may scoff, “Defeat this virus with military rounds instead of immunity?” No, fool. It’s symbolic. It’s symbolism of the concept of FREEDOM – the concept that will allow us to prevail. The concept that nourishes the soul, which nourishes and strengthens the body in turn. The antibodies of FREEDOM coursing through our veins, fending off the nasty virus like the AK’s and AR’s we so desperately need as tangible symbols of our victory. FREEDOM coursing through our veins and country with antibodies like .223 military rounds crushing those dirty, nasty Chinese.

I’m talking about an onslaught of FREEDOM like being able to drink and drive again. Drunk driving was our God-given FREEDOM until the modern Women’s Christian Temperance Union – known today as Mothers Against Drunk Driving – took that away. Those sanctimonious fascists stealing our FREEDOM cause a few people get crippled and killed. Well, FREEDOM‘s a fight, a struggle, a WAR!!!! And wars have casualties. As they say, you got to crack a few eggs to make a FREEDOM omelet. Besides, you ever stop to think about the 1950’s – our golden era when drinking and driving was recreation? Society didn’t crumble from a handful of drunk driving casualties. In fact, life was a whole lot more wholesome back then.

So fuck this government for telling us what to do. For trying to control us by forcing us indoors. Fuck the government for trying to force us from spreading the disease. Spreading the disease needs to be a choice – a God-given FREEDOM of individual choice.

When I was kid, my mom took away the scissors and spanked me when I wouldn’t stop running around with them. She said I was gonna fall and poke an eye out or stab myself. What a bitch. I hated her like I hate the goddamned government for telling me what to do. That’s when I took those scissors back and starting roller skating with them. Who’s the government or our mothers, anyway, to tell us not to run around with a pair of pointy scissors in our hands? Who’s the government to impose restrictions when we all know, should I trip and lose an eye or puncture my liver, FREEDOM – the FREEDOM to run or roller skate with scissors – is always gonna be there to mend things.

They want you to believe it’s stupid to cut off your nose just to spite your face. But that’s nonsense. It takes courage to cut your nose off. It takes guts to go around nose-less, without shame. You should be proud, in fact, of having no nose. Going nose-less makes it as plane as the nose you once had on your face just how much courage and conviction you’ve got. Without a nose, it’s plain to everybody just how principled you are. So take pride in that new hole in the middle of your face. Or, better yet, replace the lost organ with a strap-on fake schnoz painted red, white and blue.

And speaking of Mom and her oppressive ways, she told me once not to eat cat shit, so I did it anyway, out of spite. Common sense – see? That’s how you fend off your oppressors, by lopping off your nose or eating cat shit, then laughing in their face.

You’re being duped, America. Don’t believe the hysteria. Don’t believe in miracle cures like vaccines or social distancing. Don’t kowtow like Orwell’s sheep to the rules of your governments. Run and skate with your scissors, take a big bite of cat shit or lop off your nose with garden sheers, otherwise the virus wins and something far more valuable than millions of our own lives – FREEDOM, glorious FREEDOM – dies.

-mrobins71 (aka The White Voice)

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