CELEBRATE RESPONSIBLY

CELEBRATE RESPONSIBLY

at the bottom
of this can 
it reads
CELEBRATE RESPONSIBLY

how coy, right?
when we all know
it should read
AVOID YOUR PROBLEMS 
or
DROWN YOUR REGRETS
RESPONSIBLY
instead

the suggestion
to CELEBRATE RESPONSIBLY
patronizes me 
like the child
i am 
instead of telling me
what it oughta
DON'T GET TOO FUCKED UP
AND RUIN YOUR LIFE TONIGHT
or even worse
DON'T GET TOO FUCKED UP
AND END
ANOTHER'S LIFE
TONIGHT

but any of that's 
too stark
too direct
too honest
so it gives me the pass
to CELEBRATE RESPONSIBLY
so i don't ruin
this party
of avoiding my problems
and drowning
my regrets