Callous Bastard
out walking in the park broiling on the blacktop of an august afternoon a younger woman was walking on the steaming path several yards in front of me we came to the tunnel under the road i could see in front of her something was wrong inside the tunnel a man was kneeling over someone lying unconscious on the asphalt in the shadow inside the tunnel as i walked around them callously i noticed it was another young woman much like the woman walking in front of me who'd walked right past them so callously too i noticed some liquid all around the woman lying supine in the tunnel water? i wondered or had she voided? sick from the heat an overdose hypoglycemia or epilepsy? as i'd approached them i could see through the tunnel the ambulance firetruck police and park ranger their vehicles and the emergency personnel making their way to the scene so i kept on walking another mile or so back to the lake where i planned on having a seat by the water enjoying a beer with a hope of wellness to that gal and thankful in the moment for being able to enjoy that drink instead of being in that circumstance of hers weeks later i told some guy about this scene he asked what did i do? i told him about finishing my walk and enjoying that cold beer by the lake since it was so godawfully hot outside "you didn't follow up?" "no," i said "exactly what i'd expect," he said in disgust "exactly what i'd have guessed" but what was i to do? how was i to help? what should i have wanted to hear or see lingering around like some morbid creep or stalking around later cyber-ghoul style? i work in a hospital i see the results of disease and illness every day and i see the aftermath of accidents as i drive on the highway and i hear emergency vehicles blaring horns flashing lights regularly as they dash some poor victim of health or violence past my home off to the city and i never think to scan the newspaper to see who the victim was or what their outcomes were so i suppose it makes me some heartless callous bastard instead of a sympathetic buzzard though i suspect this guy wouldn't have done much sleuthing had he come upon that woman a vehicular accident or an ambulance blaring by in the night i figure it mostly makes him feel better to think what i should have done instead of what he would or more realistically wouldn't have done either he wouldn't have reached out to the family at a funeral or even sent flowers or a card or tracked down that girl in the hospital to offer her well wishes or support he'd wouldn't have done any of it or anything except feel better about himself for doing just a little more by pretending to himself to care which is more at least than not even pretending it's a tough thing being around insincere and melodramatic guys like him making me feel like shit with his moral preening faux transparent humanitarianism like cheap cologne covering up the stink of his own unwashed asshole and callousness it's tough being around guys like him it's the kinda thing that sometimes makes me walk past a possible tragedy without much concern or consideration just walking on by for the reward of a hard earned drink sitting by a lake on a godawfully hot summer day
mrobins71 