a few times a year
in fall and winter
i get dressed up
and go down
to the symphony

i admit
it's usually 
pretty dull
and boring

my friend says
it's stupid
and pretentious
to go
if i always find it
and boring

i know
there's people 
who honestly like it
and it's good
but sometimes hard
to find something to like
if those people
aren't lying
they get 
a lot of pleasure
out of the performance
a lot of pleasure
i wish i felt
or understood
but don't

but i still try
thinking maybe
i might grow into it
some things
take time and experience
to appreciate
for example
i had to grow into
an appreciation 
of chekhov's sublime subtlety
while i've yet
to grow into
any appreciation
of proust

so we'll see
i'll keep going
though i may be a fool
i'll keep trying
to figure it out
testing the water
to see
if we're coming
any closer
with age
like with chekhov
or if our fate
we remain
distant neighbors
one or both
longing for 
an affair

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