Weight Watcher

Weight Watcher

she was ashamed
of the way she looked
and ashamed
of the way
she knew
she didn't 
feel

she didn't like those feelings
so she went to the gym
late at night
very late
every night
when nobody else
was ever around

embarrassed
of her body
having no stamina
and being
pitifully 
weak
she went anyway
always
late at night
even then
shunning her reflection
and hiding around corners
to avoid
any scrutiny

over months
through the soreness
of extreme effort
she toughened
in those
late hours
and began
looking and feeling 
much better

and the people 
she knew
took notice
and asked
so she told them
about all her pain
and effort
in the gym

but it was difficult
for others 
to truly identify
to truly comprehend
since they all 
had different sources
of strife and pain
of their own

along with her strength
stamina
and confidence
an upset too
began to swell
a bulging displeasure
that her effort and results
weren't
more recognized
weren't more
understood

it wasn't very satisfying
that it was
only her
who really felt
and really knew
of all her hard work
and all the loneliness
of all those
late hours
in the gym

looking better now
she considered
going back the gym
during the day
where her sacrifices
might be seen
and recognized
maybe even
acknowledged
and commended
by others
knowing
similar pains
and sacrifices

but she knew
she still didn't
and probably never would
look nearly as good
as the best looking
in the gym
so she decided
to stop going
completely
instead