Mother’s Keeper
her mother leered across the street with envy as the children and grandchildren of her neighbor raucously came and went like another person's pile of gold she was jealous of the feelings of that neighbor that grandmother so wanted so cared for with her children's dogs and children brought to visit regularly running all about the children joyfully screaming while playing outside barks and cries of glee breaking the heart of the lonely forgotten grandmother leering between the curtains from across the street lonely and forgotten without her own children or grandchildren ever coming or going so heartbroken she finally begrudgingly rang her daughter saying, "please come see me. it's been far too long." her daughter asked, "what do you need, mother?" her mother replied, "just to spend time with my family." her daughter came the following week with her family's dogs and her mother's grandchildren in tow the dogs and children were unloaded like the ones across the street barking screaming crying complaining running and playing causing an unfamiliar unwanted ruckus in her mother's normally docile home her mother complained her daughter saying it's what she asked for it's what dogs and children do her mother knowing and understanding having had children too with her daughter explaining perhaps she should have bought some toys for the dogs and games for the children to help keep them occupied and calm her mother defended, "why would i go through all that, knowing you won't be coming back? why should i have bought when you could have brought?" her daughter countered she'd already brought far more than enough distressed and perturbed with those dogs and children running about her house afraid they might spill or piss on the carpet or break whatever there was to break things began to feel far different than what she'd imagined the children and the dogs running around caring no more for the old woman than they did for each other as children and dogs mostly should so she settled on trying to speak to her daughter through the chaos wishing to tell her all about petticoat junction and frozen meatloaf while her daughter sucked all the air out of the room with all her concerns about her children her business her marriage and their bills her mother couldn't be herself from all the tension and anxiety from the kids and dogs doing whatever living in the moment a profound disappointment compared to the fantasy she'd constructed disappointing in the now as well as the future in imaging all the mending requiring her effort after everybody leaves her daughter complaining of their ills the children interrupting asking for drinks and snacks their grandmother never cared to get the constant interruptions of the dogs needing water and needing to be let out to shit then let back in so as not to run off into the street she began to imagine how much better it would have been to have warmed up some frozen meatloaf watched another rerun of petticoat junction then taken a nap months and months passed and her daughter grandchildren and their dogs never returned while the laughs and screams of joy of the children playing across the street continued to taunt her so she called her daughter again frustrated it was her always having to call explaining to her daughter again how upsetting it is that she never calls or comes her daughter said they could come again but her mother said, "maybe just you, since the grandkids and the dogs fill me with such anxiety running around my house. and it's a lot of work, cleaning up afterward." her daughter asked, "have you asked you're neighbor if it's too much work to clean up after her family visits?" "no," her mother replied. "maybe you should. or you can come over here. i'll put the dogs outside and the kids will be happy in their rooms playing games." but that wasn't what her mother needed so she said, "how about just you coming here? and bring me some things." "what things?" her daughter asked "anything," her mother said. "just to show you care." "i'm not going out wasting time and money on things you may or may not need," her daughter said. "i've got a family and job and we have no money or time to waste." "i could give you some money," her mother said. "for us to pay our bills? or for us to buy you things you don't even need?" "mostly for me," her mother said. "but you could keep some to help with your bills." "i'm sorry, but no," her daughter said. her mother's heart wretched from the sadness of having produced such an ungrateful daughter "you need to come," her mother said. "it saddens me so much to not see you." "then it's about us? about you and me? not only about you?" "of course," her mother said. "it's all about us." "if i come, then who'll take care of the dogs and kids while i'm there?" "you can't find someone?" her mother asked. "what about jerry?" "jerry's busy too," her daughter said. her mother knew it wouldn't feel nearly as good to tell her neighbor how she went to visit her daughter than for her neighbor to see or be told about her daughter visiting her especially when bearing gifts from the whole family "it would be way easier if you just came here," her daughter said. her mother said, "you never want to do anything for me. you can't even drop by for a few minutes to visit. even after i offered to help with your bills." "what about your grandchildren? don't you care enough to want to see them?" "of course i care," her mother said. "they mean everything to me. you've seen their pictures on my walls." "then why do you never call to find out how they've done in their recitals or tournaments?" "you're so busy with your work, the kids and dogs and all their activities, i don't want to be a nuisance." "you're being a far bigger nuisance playing these games," her daughter said. her daughter understood what a convenient excuse her own schedule was for keeping everything as it always had been as it needed to be completely about her mother "maybe you could help us with a few things from time to time," her daughter suggested. "like taking the kids to a movie or the museum. they'd love that. they'd probably love you for that. that might even be a better use of the money you've offered for things you don't need." "i wish i could. but i can't. you know how i need my prescribed rest," her mother replied. "and i don't like driving very much anymore. too much driving makes me too nervous." "would you consider going to a movie or the museum with us then?" "i need my rest. the medicine makes me weak. i can't go too far. i can't do too much." "call when you want to come here," her daughter said. "we'll gladly make time. we'll even have the lemonade you like." her mother accepted the offer ostensibly but never went instead staying at home inside leering between the curtains across the street forever discontent over the gifts delivered to her neighbor the same as she was entitled to but never got since her family never cared
mrobins71 