Mrobins71’s 12 Rules for Young, Middle-Class Dudes Who Can’t Get Laid

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Piggybacking on (exploiting) the explosive popularity of Dr. Jordan B. Peterson’s New York Times best seller, I offer the following from my forthcoming book 12 Rules for Young, Middle-Class Dudes Who Can’t Get Laid: An Antidote to Dating Chaos. 

1. Clean your room. In the event you bring a girl home you don’t want her to see your nerdy DVD and action figure and game system collections. Or discovering cat turds under the couch.

2. Trim your neckbeard or grow a Nietzsche stach.

3. Scrub your taint and/or glans penis and foreskin or at least spray the pubis with Axe.

4. Stand up straight.

5. Take pride in your dress. Buy some fancy duds (e.g. Adidas track pants or a Tapout hoodie. NO RBX or Xersion or Rustler jeans). Fedoras are a plus too.

6. Be Considerate. Buy some Peach Cobbler vape juice and Steel Reserve 211 for sharing back at the crib.

7. Attend a Jordan Peterson conference. Though it’ll be a sausagefest, there’ll be some super hot Lauren Southern-types hunting for a real Petersonian man there too (Peterson being the equivalent of the male strippers in bare-ass chaps that prime and whip the sex starved MILF’s into a frenzy. But instead of sex it’s a Petersonian open-ass chapped frenzy for an archetypal hero-stud).

8. Buy 12 Rules for Life and virtue signal by carring it everywhere.

9. Buy and cloak yourself with the JBP rug. Tell a woman it’s the Petersonian Technicolor Dream Coat.

10. Assume the dominant lobster pose.

11. Woo and serenade her with your knowledge of Jungian archetypes and some quotes from The Gulag Archipelago.

12. Tell her you have a YouTube channel or like to spend most of your time insulting people in YouTube comments.

Dr. Peterson shares his videos for free just to spread his message. Feel free to share this list on Twitter, Facebook, comments sections or however else this kinda shit gets around.  Just give appropriate credit to the author. Thank you.

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