Vice finds Petersonian alpha-lobster male at professor’s New York tour


Of his experience at Canadian psychologist Dr. Jordan B. Peterson’s recent New York book tour, performance artist Ran Dosis stated to Vice, “Dr. Peterson gave me some real good advice. He suggested I drop the beret for a fedora since it looks like a drooping pile of dogshit on my head anyway. And maybe work on my grooming a bit. But he was very impressed with my posture. I feel really empowered by Dr. Peterson to go out in the world and start wrecking some dat ass.”

Since finding stardom on YouTube, Dr. Peterson has become a sort of guru to groups of traditionally unfuckable young men throughout the West, not only in America but to an ever widening audience in Europe as well. Dosis says he’s read Dr. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life cover to cover, has purchased the doctor’s Meaning of Music custom made carpet and completed his self-authoring program. Dosis feels he’s well on his way to developing into one of the doctor’s “alpha-lobster Übermensch”.

“It gives me a real sense of purpose and being, knowing I’m a part of this movement,” Dosis says. “And real hope for someday touching a woman.” When asked about his ideal mate, Dosis, emphasizing his strictly hetero male identity (contrary to the beret), describing her as “a woman who’ll appreciate my upward mobility in the lobster hierarchy.”

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