problem is i get sick of myself
get sick of my smell
get sick of my house
get sick of the things i think
get sick of the things i say
get sick of the things i don't say
get sick of what i like
and get sick of what i don't like
problem is i get sick of you too
get sick of your opinions on things
that you don't know any more about than me
but you pretend to
things i'm sick of thinking or talking
about
that in your ignorance
just like mine
you seem to love
you don't want to listen
and i don't want to talk
about all the dumb shit i've thought about a million
times
don't want to talk about it
cause it's boring
so boring it makes me sick
but you just want to talk
and have me listen
like a goddamned TV show we've already seen
and both know about the bad acting
the stupid plot
and stupid ending
i complain
it makes me sick
you complain
it's better than dead air
or silence
which is false
i'd rather pay attention to your dead air
from across the room
on a bar stool
as an innocent bystander
or neutral observer
which i know you can't understand
calling me a selfish asshole
but no
i'm generous
begging you to give your precious
attention
to someone far more deserving
than me
i'm willing to meet you half way
at the intersection of our mutual ignorance
over something new
there may be some joy in that
but that never happens
because our shared ignorance isn't a
a thing to be celebrated
only you
and your opinions
not yet formed over
something new
those are all there is to celebrate
problem is
when i'm sick of me
and i'm sick of you
there's not much left
but to hang on at the edge
alone
in bars
symphonies
plays
theaters
baseball games
even then
i get sick of you
for not letting the bars
symphonies
plays
theaters
baseball games
be what they are
i get sick of myself
listening
and pretending
knowing you'll never understand
assuming because it's about you
that for me
it must be about me too
but the problem is
i'm usually sick of myself
which doesn't leave us with much
mrobins71 