The Rock’s Movie

My brother asked if I’d seen some dumb natural disaster movie starring The Rock.

I said I hadn’t.

My brother said he had and it was a bullshit movie. He said it was bullshit because the female lead was all grrrrl-power badass and it had a lot of characters that were randomly tossed-in minorities. He said the movie was a bunch of feminist/multicultural bullshit. He said, as a natural disaster movie, it also had a lot of environmentalist propaganda to it. He told me not to even bother watching it.

I said I figured if it was a bullshit movie it was probably just because it was one of The Rock’s.

I saw my friend a few days later. I asked him if he’d seen The Rock’s disaster movie that my brother had talked about.

He said he had. He said it was a bunch of bullshit because there was The Rock again, the hyper-mesomorphic male hero saving not only the damsel in distress, but a city full of people as well. He called it a Patriarchal Trope. He said the movie had villains of various ethnic and minority stereotypes. He said it was a bullshit movie for being sexist and racists. He said the movie was absurd. He advised me not to watch it either.

A few days later I watched the movie. It was a dog shit movie. The acting was dog shit. The story was dog shit.

As a movie, it was a complete pile of dog shit for reasons entirely different than my brother or friend would ever see. And I thought that was bad cause it seems best to see things for how and why and what they really are.

But, even though The Rock’s movie was a complete pile of dog shit, it was still way better than either of the loads of dung that had come from my brother and friend.

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