No Reflections

No Reflections

when i'm alone
contemplating
and reflecting
upon life
i'm always
the most handsome
gracious
the wittiest and wisest
most charismatic
guy
around

i spend so much time
alone
contemplating and reflecting
being the most handsome
gracious
wittiest and wisest
and charismatic
guy around
in the rare times
i'm not alone
it's hard
still not being
the most handsome
gracious
wittiest and wisest
and charismatic person
in the room

it's hard
cause it's how
i've conditioned myself
to perceive
me
it's not even a lie
when it's only me
which other people
in the rare times
i'm not alone
don't seem to get

them
not seeing me
as always
the most handsome
gracious
wittiest and wisest
and most charismatic
is a real blow
to how i've come
to understand myself
in all my 
days
weeks 
months 
and years
of contemplating
and reflecting

so i retreat
to comfort and safety
to where
what i am
is never 
ever 
challenged
where there are no mirrors
the curtains are drawn
where i never age
i'm always fashionable
where my jokes
never fall flat
my breath never stinks
my stories are never dull
where my ideas
and the merits
of my achievements
are never
challenged
and i'm free
to be both savage warrior
and damsel in distress

i tell myself
a solitary life
takes courage and conviction
and the only way
to knowledge
is through solitude's
unending supply
of uninterrupted
contemplation
of life
and
self

i sit
alone
telling myself
as another wise man said,
"hell is other people"
failing
to understand
that sometimes
not just they
but we 
are our own
hells
too