Guilty Conscience

Guilty Conscience

tonight
i wrote 
a nasty poem
castigating god
mostly because
i can't
really believe 
in god
like i'm
supposed to

it wrote it
not to be an asshole
but
because i write
and
to the best i can tell
what i wrote
is how i feel
and the best way
of figuring that out
is to work it out
in words

after writing
the poem
i wanted 
to get drunk
i wanted
to go to the tavern
and drink
and smoke
for a long time

but i didn't
cause i'm suspicious
there might be a consequence
for writing that poem

so instead
i'm hiding
at home
away from the consequence
writing this
now
drunk
from the comfort
of this couch
knowing
the wrath
of consequence
knows no boundaries
but
at least
i'll reduce the risk
by staying
here
for now